Cultivating Confident Teams with a NO: The Power of Rituals in Shaping Culture with Lee McNamara

I had the great pleasure of sitting down with Lee McNamara, a seasoned communications and culture expert, I was eager to delve into the insights he could offer on building thriving team environments. Our conversation quickly turned to the heart of the matter - the critical role of defining and shaping organisational culture.
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‍How do people behave when you're not watching?

"Culture is how people behave when you're not watching," Lee explained, sharing a personal anecdote. "I was walking my dog this morning, and someone's recycling bin had blown over. I could have just walked by, but I picked it up. Those little unseen actions are what really define a culture."

I nodded in agreement, recognising the importance of these subtle yet impactful behaviours. "It's not just the grand statements of values and mission, is it?" I replied. "It's the day-to-day interactions and the unwritten rules that truly shape the character of an organisation."

Lee expanded on this point, highlighting how the processes and ways of working within a company can be just as telling as the official policies. 

"You can tell a lot about an organisation by how people get things done, rather than just what they do," he said. "The little frictions and frustrations people face can be a window into the true culture."

As we delved deeper, the conversation turned to the challenges of driving meaningful change in organisational culture. 

"Behaviour change is so hard because people are unpredictable and individual," Lee noted. "You've got all these interpersonal dynamics and unwritten rules that can either help or hinder progress."

I couldn't help but agree. "It's not just about rolling out a new initiative or policy," I said. "You've got to navigate the complex web of relationships and entrenched habits within the team."

Lee nodded emphatically. "Exactly. Unless you take the time to explain the context and the 'why' behind changes, people just feel disempowered. They think, 'Well, this is how we've always done it, so why should I change?'"

This struck a chord with me. I've seen too many well-intentioned initiatives struggle because the rationale and clarity of intent wasn't clearly communicated. "The clarity of communication is so important," I remarked. "Aligning the changes to the organisation's values and purpose is crucial."

Lee concurred. 

"Unless you can help people understand their broader contribution to the organisation's mission, they'll just feel like they're being told what to do. But if they can see how their work fits into the bigger picture, that's when you start to see real engagement and buy-in."

The Best No tactic you can try with your team

As our discussion progressed, the topic of constructive conflict and feedback emerged as a key factor in shaping a thriving culture. 

"You've got to create an environment where people feel safe to challenge and debate," Lee explained. "If you can foster that sense of psychological safety, you'll unlock so much more from your team."

I couldn't help but reflect on my own experiences. "I've seen how fear of conflict can stifle creativity and innovation," I admitted. "People are so worried about rocking the boat or looking like a fool that they hold back their best ideas." I will often start many meetings  by making sure everyone knows every idea, even a bad one can be the seed of something completely innovative and game changing and so every idea is welcome. Here. Your voice is valued.  Setting the scene like this, at the beginning of a meeting or a facilitated session, really helps people to feel a level of comfort and stepping forward.

Lee nodded knowingly. "Exactly. And that's where rituals can be so powerful. If you can build in regular opportunities for constructive feedback and healthy debate, it becomes the norm rather than the exception."

This piqued my interest. "Can you give me an example of how you've used rituals to encourage this kind of culture?"

Lee leaned forward. "Well, one of the first things I did with my team was to get them to list out everything they were working on. Then I gave them red dots and asked them to mark the things they didn't think we should be doing."

I really liked the sound of this idea. "That must have been a revealing exercise."

"Absolutely," Lee replied. "It was a real eye-opener, because they started to see all these little tasks and favours that had crept in over time. Things they knew weren't really their responsibility, but they'd just taken on because they couldn't say no."

I nodded in recognition. "The classic 'yes' trap that so many of us fall into."

Lee chuckled. "Exactly. But the key was, I didn't just tell them to stop doing those things. I framed it as, 'Not me, not now.' Meaning, 'This isn't the right thing for you to be doing right now, but that doesn't mean it won't get done.' It empowered them to start setting boundaries and saying no, without feeling like they were letting someone down."

I could see the power of this simple ritual. "By creating that space for reflection and honest assessment, you're giving them the confidence to challenge the status quo."

"Absolutely," Lee affirmed. "And that's just the start. We've also got regular team meetings where we revisit our purpose and principles. It's not just words on a wall - we're constantly reviewing them, seeing how we're living up to them, and making adjustments as needed."

I was struck by the intentionality of Lee's approach. "It's not just about imposing a culture, is it? It's about cultivating it collaboratively."

"Exactly," Lee replied. "People need to feel a sense of ownership and investment in the culture. If it's just handed down from on high, it'll never truly take root."

As our conversation continued, I couldn't help but be inspired by Lee's insights. The power of rituals to shape behaviour, the importance of clear communication and purpose, and the value of constructive conflict - these were all themes that resonated deeply with me.

"I think you're really onto something here," I said. "This idea of using rituals to foster a thriving team culture. It's not just about productivity hacks or process improvements - it's about creating an environment where people feel empowered, engaged, and able to do their best work."

The research backs it up, too. When people feel a strong sense of purpose and connection to their work, it has a profound impact. Gallup found that if you can move the alignment between an individual's work and the organisation's mission from one in five to eight in ten, you can see a 51% reduction in absenteeism. It really underscores the importance of a good connected culture."

Are we losing humanity in the workplace?

Lee leaned back, a thoughtful expression on his face. "You know, I think a big part of it is about reclaiming our humanity in the workplace. We've become so obsessed with efficiency and productivity that we've lost sight of the fundamental human needs - the need for connection, for meaning, for a sense of belonging."

I nodded in agreement. "Exactly. We've become so caught up in the busyness and the noise that we forget what really matters. That's where rituals can be so powerful - they help us reconnect with those deeper sources of fulfillment and purpose."

As our conversation drew to a close, I couldn't help but reflect on the practical power of Lee's insights. The ability to shape culture, to foster constructive conflict and feedback, and to harness the power of rituals - these are key to unlocking high-performing, confident teams.

As ever a brief summary and key takeaways to think on for your teams:

1. Defining and shaping culture: Culture is not just about the stated values and policies, but the unseen behaviours and unwritten rules that truly define an organisation. Managers must be intentional about cultivating the right cultural norms and mindsets.
   
   
2. Encouraging constructive conflict and feedback: Creating an environment of psychological safety, where team members feel empowered to challenge and debate, is crucial for driving innovation and engagement. Rituals can help make this a regular, accepted part of the team dynamic.
   
   
3. Leveraging rituals for high performance: Rituals that encourage reflection, purpose-driven work, and healthy interpersonal dynamics can be powerful tools for managers to build thriving, confident teams. By reclaiming our humanity in the workplace, we can unlock new levels of fulfillment and productivity.

As I bid farewell to Lee, I couldn't help but feel a renewed sense of optimism about the future of work. By embracing the power of rituals to shape culture and foster constructive collaboration, managers have the opportunity to create workplaces that are not just productive, but truly fulfilling. It's a challenge worth embracing, for the sake of our teams, our organisations, and our collective wellbeing.

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Really appreciate Lee for this enjoyableinterview.

This interview is part of a research series for The Ritual Playbook for Managers

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